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100 lbs Down: Part 2

Updated: Jan 7

If you haven't read the first part, you can do so here:

Plateaus are a funny thing. Well not so much funny as they are awful. You work and work and work just to get that weight off then without warning it all just stops. You try eating less, working out more, but nothing gives. What was I to do? I was already working out almost every day and eating as "clean" as possible.

Well, I did what anyone else would do. I Googled "How to break a plateau". Soon I came across a never-ending source of diets promising to help you "lose 10 lbs in 10 days", or become your "thinnest, prettiest self". In my opinion, that was the beginning to a very slippery slope.

Now don't get me wrong, the internet is a wonderful thing. It is filled with valuable resources that can provide you with evidenced-based information. It is also the home to a lot of non-proven toxic content that can absolutely diminish any healthy foundation you have built. Now I didn't dive right into the fad diets. I would trial them, fail, and go back to my normal lifestyle. Although the deprivation never actually made the scale move, it did fuel the negative self-perception that was already building within me.

Surprisingly, what actually made the scale drop was simply continuing what I have been doing. In all my years of being on a healthy journey as well as being a dietitian, I have come to realize that the human body will react to consistency. Plateaus happen, but that does not mean you need to create a larger calorie deficit or exercise for 3 hours a day. You just need to keep going. Show up for yourself, because at the end of the day this journey should mean so much more to you than what a piece of machinery reads.

That's the lesson I wish I learned earlier. Because despite my consistency, and eventual plateau break, I was never good enough. I was never thin enough, pretty enough, or doing enough. The more weight I lost the more people congratulated me. So, I kept losing.

After about 2 years of relentless work, I hit the 100 lbs mark. Little did I know, that wasn't the end of it. With the end of my physical weight loss came the beginning of a journey I did not expect to go on. But before I could reap the rewards of being in a comfortable spot with myself physically, I needed to do A LOT of work mentally.

There was a point in my life where my weight loss totaled 130 lbs. I was as thin as I could possibly be but it still wasn't enough. Looking back, I realize that my confidence, or evolution into the person I am now didn't come from weight loss. It came from the mental war that occurred when I realized that no matter what number I saw on the scale, my eyes would only see my flaws. Unfortunately, in order to get to the point where I truly loved myself, I would have to go through a period of disordered thinking, weight gain, and a ton of self-discovery.

Part 3 coming soon.

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